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What Are You Doing?

by Parallel Bars

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1.
Another dumb song you can roll your eyes at Another dive in my mind for the panic attacks Another long night waiting for someone to react Another conversation about where I lack My compulsion Your revulsion Call it self care Or self-indulgence Too young to quit, too old to care More medication down to deal with stress More justification to get it off my chest More evidence piling up to confess More excuses "I'm trying my best" Your revulsion My overindulgence Call it threadbare Or self-important Too young to quit, too old to care I shouldn't feel this guilty While they're reading my sentencing Go ahead and throw the book at me A felony for life of apathy Too young too quit, too old too care
2.
It's time to go So you gotta let them know You've got taste in deep lyrical metaphor Use a song to tell the whole world You're feeling sad or great but can't talk I'm staring at your away message You're so cool with the movie reference I love that font I love that color You know there could be no other one You're logging on Mom wants to use the phone So I gotta go I'll be right back In about an hour or so Waiting for your screen name to show I'm hoping I don't hear that door close I'm staring at your away message You're so cool with the movie reference I love that font I love that color You know there could be no other one You're logging on I'm freaking out Emo quotes and inside jokes I'm in love though we never spoke I'm staring at your away message I feel cool I got that reference I'm staring at your away message You're so cool with the movie reference I love that font I love that color You know there could be no other one
3.
Side Hustle 02:50
Selling shit on Etsy that nobody buys Working hard all day then blogging all night You got that personal brand that's racking up likes Record another video that starts "Hey Guys!" 'Cause your job doesn't pay and you hate it Spending time on your hobby and you pray that you make it Or you'll end up on Only Fans Side Hustle You got that Side Hustle, baby You had word art that told you to believe in yourself You called your dad asking for a little help Asking everyone to share your post A 24-year-old broke life coach Charging friends on Venmo and you hate it Rent's due and followers won't pay it Moving in back to your parents' Side Hustle You got that Side Hustle, baby HEY GUYS! AMAZING NEWS! SAVANNAH SOAKS BATH BOMBS IS GOING VIRAL! GOOP LIKED ONE OF OUR POSTS AND SHARED IT TO THEIR STORY! SUCK IT AMAZON FULFILMENT CENTER #3712! I QUIT! AND DON'T FORGET TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE! Or you'll end up on Only Fans Side Hustle You got that Side Hustle, baby
4.
Manipulate You got me wrapped 'round your fingers Hanging on every word You never listen but you beg for attention You're stubborn like your mom Boys break things but Girls break you I don't know What I'm gonna do Cause I know it's so true Girls break you Frustrate You got my feet on the edge I'm pulling out my hair You never listen but that smile's a weapon With a face that can do no wrong Boys break things but Girls break you I don't know What I'm gonna do Cause I know it's so true Girls break you Here comes trouble Attitude on the double Constant power struggle The missing pieces to the puzzle Boys break things but Girls break you You'll never know What you two do The push, the pull You broke through The push, the pull I love you Boys break things but Girls break you You'll never know What you two do The push, the pull The push, the pull You know I know I love you
5.
I'd Kiss You 03:04
Once upon a time The story of a hopeless guy Who never saw the signs And was afraid to try Paralyzed and confused why Then you said goodbye I was so stupid You were so perfect That night in my car in 2002 But I was a loser Timid and nervous Thinking back now that I didn't deserve it You were so cool and I was just fat Summer fun I wish I could go back Panic in my mind Sending chills down my spine I couldn't believe my eyes A coward frozen in time I kept my feelings inside Now I can't leave you behind I am so stupid You were so perfect Tonight in my car in 2022 I am a loser Fixated on moments Still thinking back on what could have been different You were so cool and I was just fat Summer fun I wish I could go back 'Cause I'd get a clue I'd know what to do I'd kiss you I'd kiss you And we'll stay out all night under the stars Singing lines to all our favorite songs "You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love" And never grow up 'cause the future don't want us Never grow up 'cause the future don't want us Mirror down Lipstick on It all went wrong You were so cool and I was just fat Summer fun I wish I could go back 'Cause I'd get a clue I'd know what to do I'd kiss you I'd kiss you
6.
Cassie 03:03
Oh Cassie You walk right past me And it's so sad to see you breaking mentally I know your dad's not around and your mom is a drunk But you don't need to be with that manipulative hunk You can chase him all day But when you're tired running I am here to stay You're already perfect You don't need to change Oh Cassie You look right past me And it's so sad to see you spiraling daily I know your friends are fake and its driving you crazy But mania don't phase me And what's the fun in behaving? You can chase him all day But when you're tired running I am here to stay You're already perfect You don't need to change You're fighting your demons I won't let you be a villain Cause I know you're a good person You're the star of my play I know it's fate Let's run away Don't worry, this is just the beginning You can chase him all day But when you're tired running I am here to stay You're already perfect You don't need to change
7.
Day Drinkin' 02:23
It's 12 o'clock somewhere Grab me another beer The sun is setting here Catch a buzz We're all having fun Call a car to take us to the next bar Dank and hazy My Saturday is lazy Watching the game touchdown We going crazy No hangover 'cause I'm already sober Goodnight! Can't be out late In bed by 8 Day drinkin' Yea we're old so you know we gotta go Day Drinkin' It's 12 o'clock somewhere Kids are at daycare I'm drunk in a lawn chair Pull up I got a cooler to share Don't worry, I ain't going nowhere No hangover 'cause I'm already sober Goodnight! Can't be out late In bed by 8 Day drinkin' Yea we're old so you know we gotta go Day Drinkin' At the barbecue, I'm grabbing a beer At the birthday party, I'm grabbing a beer At the tasting room you know I'm drunk At brunch you know I get fucked up Can't be out late In bed by 8 Day drinkin' Yea we're old so you know we gotta go Day Drinkin'
8.
When I was a kid I thought my parents knew everything Turns out like everyone they were just faking When I was in school I thought my teachers had good intentions When they really were just babysitters with pensions We all feel lied to Your broken promises Our false hope We suffer consequences I never knew adults would be this dumb So fucking dumb I guess I'm not the only one When I was young I thought that life would get better But all we do is sit around online and argue together Now that I'm old I'm trying hard to break the cycle But I'm banging my head telling how to Google We all feel cheated Lost and defeated Searching for meaning Our fault is believing I never knew adults would be this dumb Go to school, get good grades Find and job and you'll get paid But all I got is depression and regret Disappointment from things unsaid It's leading me to second guess The point of it all when they stack the deck I never knew adults would be this dumb So fucking dumb I never knew I guess I am an idiot too
9.
IRL 03:07
Put up my profile with a dumb smile Looking for a girl so I can walk 500 miles It's been a while In a drought like the Nile Oh! She's cute, you too This girl's got style I swiped You Liked Can't believe it's happening tonight I swiped You Liked Now we're getting together In real life You hit me up We text back and forth Made you laugh with a joke about Peter North Spend an hour trying to pick out what to wear Fix my hair Check the mirror OK PLAYA I swiped You liked Can't believe it's happening tonight I swiped You Liked Now we're getting together In real life Sent you pics But not of my dick Planning out something romantic I swiped You Liked Now we're getting together In real life I was at the Olive Garden sitting all alone I kept trying but you never answered the phone I held out hope, hoping this was just a joke On my 10th breadstick I gave up the ghost I swiped You Liked Then you left me by myself tonight Was it because I am to nice? I swear I am the one you want in real life In real life
10.
It breaks my heart To see you giving up I know that you feel like you've had enough You say you're tired That you're so old But there is just so much more left to go Whatever you're looking for You won't find it in your phone Just look up I'm here You are not alone It breaks my heart To see you giving up I know that you feel like you've had enough You say you're tired That you're so old But there is just so much more Whatever you're looking for You won't find it in your phone Just look up I'm here You are not alone It breaks my heart To see you waste your life Resigned to think your best days are behind you It's all in your mind though And I'm hoping for a breakthrough But you're stuck in the rearview Wishing for a re-do Whatever you think you need You won't find it on a screen I've been here For years I will never leave I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself Whatever you're looking for You won't find it in your phone Just look up I'm here You are not alone The worst part is I don't think you know or care I'm trying but you're not there Don't disappear

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released September 21, 2022

All songs written, produced, mixed, and mastered by Parallel Bars

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Parallel Bars

Music from the Merrimack Valley

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